Highs and Lows

I've decided to start recording the "highs and lows' of each day.  I started thinking about this last week and about how somedays I have great days and am blissfully happy and other days that aren't so great and I feel defeated by life.  I want to remember the great days and what about them that made them so wonderful.  Whether it's a family party, joyous occassion or even something little like a great glass of iced tea on a scorching hot day.  I want to remember these days so that when I have icky days I'll be able to re-read these posts and thank God for blessing me with a wonderful life.  On the flip side, I'm hoping that by writing about craptatic days I will start to appreciate the good days more and to learn and grow from that not so good days.  So- here we go.

Friday, May 4

High- It was so hard to choose just one, I had such a great day!! Landen and I just hung out for most of the day, but we did run to Sam's Club and Wal-mart.  He was SOO good! I was so impressed with his behavior and that was definitely the high of Friday for me.  Lately it has been so hard to get him to listen, so it's always a great day when he does so!  Another high for Friday was Saturday morning...Landen spent the night and when he woke up Saturday morning, rolled over and put his arm around my neck to snuggle closer...my heart melted ON.THE.SPOT!

Low-I miss my hubby.  It's been almost a full three months and I am beginning to feel all 90 days.  I miss him and can't wait until he comes home. 

Bucket list

One day I will live here...

In a water tower town, everybody waves
Church doors are the only thing thats open on Sundays
Word travels fast, wheels turn slow
Yeah workin' hard and livin' right is the only life we know

Friday night football is king, sweet tea goes good with anything
Fireflies come out when the sun goes down
Nobody eats till you say Amen, and everybody knows your mama's name
You can see who loves who from miles around, in a water tower town

Well your friends a friend, and your words your word
And our pick up trucks, they ain't for looks they're made for work
Corn grows high, crime stays low

There's little towns everywhere where everybody knows

Yeeeaahh in a water tower town

Summer time livin!

Turns out, Mother Nature doesn't hate me afterall.  The warm temps are back and I could not be happier.  It was a wonderful 76 here today and is supposed to climb into the mid 80s tomorrow!  Today was pretty near fantastic!  I did some gardening with my mom this morning, went grocery shopping and then took Trooper on an extra long walk this evening.  He is currently laying down looking lackadaisical so I'm tempted to say he appreciated it!  Time for this girl to sip on a glass of Skinnygirl Sangria on the back porch and drive into the three magazines that appeared in my mailbox this afternoon!

Toodles!

Spring has sprung...oh wait I saw snowflakes yesterday!

Here in the wonderful state of VA we have had record temps over the past few months.  I was married in December and at 3:30pm it was 58 degrees outside!  Since, the weather turned crazier than normal.  No snow for us this season.  In mid-march the temps even climbed into the mid-upper 80s here!!  More recently though, the temperature has dropped (after I planted my flowers, veggies and herbs of course) and in the past week I have had to cover my plants each night before bed.  What a pain thats been.  Then, yesterday it only reached the mid 40s and were even reports of flurries outside.  REALLY MOTHER NATURE??  I love the warmer temps and spending as much  time outside as possible, thus I am not enjoying the vast decrease in the temp around these parts (neither are my sinuses)!  Just my two cents for the day!


Trooper sniffing out the pepper plant

Snap Dragons!  Don't mind the silver streaks on my deck- minor mishap with  the spray paint!

Herbs; basil, parsley, cilantro and mint!

Our newest family member, Trooper!

Happy Easter! and update!

It's Easter!! I love Easter for many reasons, obviously above all, He is Risen!!  I also love it because the weather generally turns warm, flowers are in full bloom and it's another reason to celebrate with loved ones.  Nothing is greater! 

Aaron is at work for Easter as he is every year so this year I will be having an early dinner with  his parents and brothers and then the main event at my parent's house with my little brother, mom and dad!  Although, I can't celebrate with my husband, I'm grateful to have his family and my family within walking distance!!

In other news, I brought our puppy home!  Trooper actually came home February 26th and I could not be more in love!  He is the sweetest puppy and loves to snuggle. He is having mild agression issues, however we have started obedience training and I hope to resolve them soon!  HAPPY EASTER!!

Vent

I need to vent.  I'm frustrated, sad, pissed off and just plain blah feeling! In reality, I'm jealous as hell; aside from all of the aforementioned emotions I'm also feeling.  For as long as I can remember and probably since I was allowed to "babysit" my next door neighbor when I was eight years old, I have wanted to be a mom.  Throughout my teenage years I was an avid babysitter and during my freshman year in college I landed a job as a full time caregiver for two kids.  Rhyann was two and Cody was only 3 months when I started watching them- that was almost 8 years ago.  I quickly grew to love both Rhyann and Cody more than life and they became a part of my family.  They were both in my wedding and their mother is one of my closest friends.  I loved watching them grow, develop and seeing them change.  Rhyann has grown from a quiet, shy and ridiculously sweet two year old into a beautiful, smart, and indescribably caring young lady.  She is the light of my life.  Cody, has changed as well.  He was such a happy baby, bubbly, silly and so cuddly.  Honestly, he is still encompasses all of those and he wears them well.  He has shown me what it's like to love a child unconditionally.  From the time I met him he had me wrapped around his finger and I caught a slight glimpse of what motherhood feels like, at least what I think it will feel like.
    My nephew was born almost three years ago.  He is, hands down the most precious and loving three year old.  He stole my heart from the minute I saw him- minutes after he was born.  From his fluffy, barely there hair to his perfect nose down to all 10 of his sweet toes, he was perfect.  Long story short, Landen is the closest thing I have to my own child.  I love him more than life.  I sometimes find myself feeling nervous that I won't love my own children as much as I love him.  I know in reality it's impossible, but I still questions it.  As much as I love him, Landen's not mine- he's not my child.  I yearn to experience motherhood first hand and not through friends and family members.  I admit that I am disgustingly envious of those women around me that are mothers.  Many of my friends and family are pregnant.  I'm jealous; I hate to admit it, but I am.  I want a baby so bad and I want to be a mother equally as much.  I know the timing isn't right though.  Aaron's schedule is not conducive to having a baby and even more than that, we're not prepared financially.  I need a job, I need to work for a bit as we have both decided that when the time is here, we would like for me to be able to stay home full time.  We need a stable place to live.  Right now we are renting and although it's stable for the time being, it may be in limbo sooner than later.

     I'm working on living in the moment, appreciating what I have now and not yearning for more.  I just married my soul mate, I need to enjoy being married and appreciate the hours of sleep that I get each night because I know once we do have a baby, sleep will be few and far between.  I want to enjoy being a wife and enjoy my husband, just us.  I'm still learning what "we" are as husband and wife before adding a child to the mix.  I love my husband more than life and I know that when the timing is right, all the pieces will fit together, the planets will align and I will be a mother and we will be a family. 

Gym Time

Aaron and I finally joined a gym we think we will like.  We had our first training session last Wednesday and let me tell you, it was an hour of pure hell...for Aaron anyway.  His guy was killing him!  Poor man was doing lunges upon lunges, bench presses, incline presses, mountain climbers...and those were only the ones I was able to make out while sweating my own biscuits off!  My trainer was much more reasonable.  That or she quickly realized I'm fairly out of shape and she didn't want to kill me right off the bat!  None the less, I got my ass kicked as well.  WHEW! We were sore for a solid 4 days after.  We have our next training session this coming week and I already know my trainer and I will be going through the same circuit of cardio, mountain climbers (the death of me), and strength training exercises.  I'm not enjoying it yet by any means and I have yet to feel endorphins, but I'm hanging in there. 

On another note and completely off topic, we are getting a dog!! My family had a chocolate lab all of my high school and college years so I have been begging Aaron since we moved into our house last July.  He finally caved and I couldn't be any happier! A co-worker of his mom's has a golden lab mix that just had puppies last week. I've done a bit of research and they seem to be the best of both breeds so as for having a companion when Aaron is gone I'm good there.  I've also read that they are especially good with young children/kids so that's a huge plus for when we decide to start a family in a few years.  Now we just need to decide whether or not we want a boy or girl....hmm!!